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Autopsy Report: Chris Cook Disappoints

The Vikings season is not over yet, but it is certainly dead, and before we get too far ahead of ourselves by looking towards the offseason for quick fixes, I wanted to look closer into the causes of death.  In this series we will look at the long list of reasons this season has been such an epic failure.  Up first, my good buddy, cornerback Chris Cook.

Today, I had a bit of an online scuffle with Cook, after he let the world know that he was “still in bed” on his day off I noticed that many of his teammates were volunteering at a Children’s Hospital at that very moment.  Then, chippy bastard that I am, I suggested that maybe Cook’s tweet about taking a day off was actually meant to be posted on Sunday.  He then decided he had seen enough of me and told me to “get a life” and promptly blocked our VT account from communicating with his.

He then went on a little rant stating “I swear some people live to try and make other people look bad” and “I guess I’m not allowed to have a day off!”  I assume the people that he is referring to are all NFL wide outs.

He then went on to say “laptop thugs are the worst.”  I would actually argue that, you know, real thugs are worse.  Whatever, though, different chokes for different folks.  He then suggested that he would like to be rude, presumably back to me, but that the “little birdie called media” prevents him from doing so.

Now perhaps I didn’t utilize much tact in my tweets, and didn’t show much respect, but the fact is Chris Cook is my least favorite Vikings player we’ve had in a long time and his social media habits in contrast to, say, Greg Jennings is one of the reasons for it.  I can’t think of a single moment, in almost four full seasons, that I have been proud to see Cook wearing a horn on his helmet.

Injuries, an arrest involving a firearm, and an arrest for felony domestic assault by strangulation have caused him to be one of team’s least reliable players over the last four years.  He only played in six games his rookie season, six in 2011, 10 in 2012, and eight so far this year.  When he does manage to stay on the field, however, the results have not been very impressive.

Through 30 games played (26 starts) Pro Football Reference credits Cook with a career stat line of 84 tackles, one sack, and 13 defended passes.  That means he has zero interceptions, zero forced fumbles, zero recoveries, and virtually no big plays to his name whatsoever.  Turnovers aren’t the only measure of a defender in the NFL, but a lack of them has been a big reason the Vikings secondary continues to look miserable.

Cook is far from the worst talent the Vikings have at the position, but he has failed to live up to the hype that caused the Vikings to draft him in the second round in 2010, and he doesn’t seem to have progressed at all since last year.  You wouldn’t expect a player of his size to play so soft so consistently, but he does, and the result is a player as unintimidating in coverage as he is in run defense.

Rick Spielman and Brad Childress made Cook their top choice in 2010, but Childress is long gone and Cook is now in the final year of his rookie deal.  Cook was acquitted of both his felony charges, after the Vikings essentially paid him to stay home, and Judd Zulgad has reported a few times that his presence on the roster didn’t sit well within the locker room at that time.

Cook is going to be a unrestricted free agent following this season.  The Vikings could likely keep him around for another year on the cheap, but it remains to be seen if they have any interest in doing so.  Nearly every week he has been a giant question mark since joining the team and never once has he appeared to be any sort of answer.

One thing is for sure, though, and that is that the Vikings surely won’t be content relying on Cook going into 2014 and will be forced to search for more upgrades at the corner position.

Stay tuned for the next version of our Autopsy Report on the 2013 season.  I might even update you all on whether or not I finally got a life.

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Adam Warwas

Adam Warwas (Founder) has been writing about the Vikings for a total of eight years. Five of those years have been here at Vikings Territory where he continues to surround himself with enough talented individuals that people keep coming back. As proud as he is of what Vikings Territory has become, his real treasures are in his home... a beautiful wife and three amazing children (and a dog named Percy).

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  1. Pretty sure he’s unrestricted Adam. I would still expect him to be available for the cheap though, he seems to be getting more disinterested as this season goes on. I thought he may finally break through this year but his overall performance has been some of the worst of his career from what I’ve seen. You’ld think he would have kept a low profile this week after seeing AJ get cut.

    1. Thanks for the catch, Dan, I think you are right. I think I may have mistakenly applied the same mistake to Gerhart earlier this month, too. Damn RFA rules… always confusing. Oh well, makes it that much more likely he’ll be gone sooner.

  2. Get a life you thug!!! Haha, BEVERLY, EVER heard my cousin be refered to as a thug before. You hoody wearing no good louse!!! Haha. Hahahaha….

    Have a good t-day adam ‘pookie’ warwas

  3. Chris Cook will never be mistaken for Erin Henderson ………

    ………. right Adam?


  4. I’m known in this family for being anti-Chris Cook, but you got it all over me, Adam. That was downright…not very nice (but really funny). No interceptions in four years as a #1 pick? Goodness, that’s a bust if every there was one. He’s done a good job of making me wish we had kept Cedric Griffin, though.

  5. “He then went on a little rant stating “I swear some people live to try and make other people look bad” and “I guess I’m not allowed to have a day off!” I assume the people that he is referring to are all NFL wide outs.”
    That almost had me spitting my Blueberry wine all over the screen. might be the funnest thing you ever posted Adam!

    Truthfully, I had no idea that Cook was such a dud until reading this. Seriously, No INTS in his entire (Worthless) career? WOW.
    **Private message to Chris Cook (And I KNOW you’re reading this!); Don’t bother “getting a Life”, just get an interception.

  6. for the 2013 vikings, this is not just anti-social behavior on the football field, or a mere embrace, it’s a full-blown addiction to the suck! we mustered the will to stone cold quit last year and have now had a relapse, so to deal with a problem of this magnitude, one must first recognize and admit that one has a problem. only then can one move on to the next step, FULL IMMERSION THERAPY! thoroughly lose every game for the rest of the season, no closies, near-wins, or ties, rub your own noses in it until you are just so damn sick and tired of being sick and tired, that you, uh, well…, get thoroughly 2 girls 1 cup sick and tired of it!

    then get our franchise QBOTF with the #1 pick

  7. Well you can add another Viking to the police blotter. Seems Erin Henderson was busted for DUI on Nov 19th. That would explain the missed game this past weekend for “personal reasons”. The Viking ship is going down faster than the Titanic. Bye bye Frazier!!!!!

  8. Are the e-mails not getting through to everyone or what? Your conduct outside of “work hours” can impact your employment status. That’s not just on a football team either (Tomb – insert legal speak here). My gosh, we can put a man on the moon, and get pictures back from Mars, but we can’t get some people to understand this simple precept. Unbelievable!

    1. This has to be hurting Frazier’s chances of staying. Looks like he is loosing the team in a bad way.

      1. I think the arrests are a much bigger problem for Spielman. He gave all three of these guys new contracts to start the season. Part of his job is to make sure the guys he’s bringing in aren’t going to reflect poorly on the organization. He felt the need to make a statement, so I’m guessing he’s feeling some heat on this. It doesn’t reflect well on Frazier either, but his job was already in jeopardy with the teams overall record, the ship may have already sailed for him. I think Spielman could survive a terrible season, but if the guys he brought to this team keep acting up the Wilf’s might start thinking it would be a good idea to start fresh at the very top.

  9. “All parties involved felt that it might be best to kind of step away from the game for a second. You guys know there can be a lot of stress and a lot of pressure that goes along with this gig, and sometimes it’s best to just get away for a second and clear your head,” he said.

    A lot of stress huh Erin? Way to be accountable. No one else has stress like you football players. Jackass.

    You want stress? Spend a Sunday afternoon watching the middle linebacker play for the Minnesota Vikings! That dumb ass is stress! Freds has been known to tip a cold Colt 45 or two while being stressed watching you stink up the field, but the difference is that Freds doesn’t get behind the wheel of his 1972 orange Pinto and drive around town drunk putting the other people at risk.

    So take some responsibility and stop telling Freds you are stressed.

    Where the hell did I controlled substance of mine!

    1. I knew you would take the news hard Freds. The controlled substance part troubles me the most, not that the dui is acceptable but both is concerning. Denzel needs to put his foot down and cut him, would send a strong message

  10. I had a high school track coach that would say one beer takes away 6 weeks of conditioning. I don’t know if takes away 6 weeks of conditioning, but it damn well effects your conditioning. My senior year of high school basketball, our coach calls for practice at 9am New Years day. All the basketball players went to the new years eve party. I only had one beer because I was driving and new we had practice in the morning. I was in really good shape. I ran 2 miles a day for 6 weeks before basketball started, plus ran crushers in our yard. I lived on a farm. After 1 beer that new year day practice hurt. I was surprised how one beer can effect you. The guys the drank a lot were throwing up by the end of practice. So i wonder how this effects pro players. Maybe these guys would be better conditioned if they didn’t drink during the season.

  11. Our secondary is full of a buncha sadomasochistic mofos. Choking people and inflicting pain on everyone who watches them try to stop a passing game. Fraziers interview with Barriero today was troubling. “No comment on how we’ve handled either situation, I’ll let the critics have their day.” Wtf? How can players be accountable if the coaches can’t express any?

    1. To you and everyone the same, Cart. Take a good look and your ladies and young ones and remind yourself how fortunate you are no matter what the difficulties of life may be.

  12. Oh…and don’t be like these dummies, if you have one too many Colt 45’s, call a cab or a sober buddy.

  13. It is odd Henderson missed time from the game, even a short time. All Erin bashing aside, Freds hopes that if this dude has a real drug or alcohol problem, he gets himself right. Hate to see anyone a slave to the chemicals.

    Enjoy your Thanksgiving friends.

  14. thought I’d check in too and send best wishes to my “family” of friends……echo the thoughts of Coach and freds: all addictions are bad news….and yes, there is so much to be thankful for!