Zimmony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events

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Sep 22, 2021
Billy Hardiman-USA TODAY Sports

It’s Wednesday, and most of us have been inching ourselves back from the edge of the ledge. 

 

Nothing quite like snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. In a game of inches, the Vikings seemingly have been playing with the metric system in 2021. They are 0-2 with a margin of defeat of four points. A different side of the coin, a yellow penalty flag pocketed, bifocals for a replay reviewer, or a toe dragged across a blade of grass could have very well made this team 2-0 to start the season. Inches, I say.

Rough Start

Alas, the Vikings are 0-2 and staring at the brink of season obscurity when the playoffs seemed like a strong probability coming out of the preseason. Much has been made about the playoff probability for teams starting 0-2 (11% make the playoffs) and how the season seems lost during its infancy. That is not the case here — the Vikings still have time to right their proverbial Snekkja. It will not be an easy journey after the hole they dug, but it is doable. 

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One thing that can be said about this Vikings team: They definitely have heart and fight to them. It would have been very tempting to lay down after the penalty-filled afternoon in Cincinnati.

They didn’t.

The Vikings fought, clawing their way back into the game. Ultimately, they even had a chance to win it. The same can be said for last Sunday’s game in the Arizona desert. Minnesota came out swinging and put the Cardinals in a 20-7 hole quickly (yes, Joseph should hit the damn PAT). The missed PAT can be bundled into its preceding series of unfortunate events.

Beginning of the End

After an incomplete pass from Kyler Murray to start the drive, his next pass should have had a vastly different outcome.

 

That pass ricocheted off not one but two Vikings players before ultimately landing in the breadbasket of former Minnesota Golden Gopher Maxx Williams for a 34 yard gain. The Cardinals continued to chip their way downfield before facing a 2nd and eight at the 24-yard line. Danielle Hunter burst around the left tackle with a fancy kung-fu shuck of the tackle’s extended arms to sack Murray. On 3rd and 16, we felt good regarding the possibility of forcing a field goal, but Murray found Christian Kirk for 19 yards at the right hash — 1st down. 

Two plays later, pure bedlam. 

Murray issued a quick shovel pass to Rondale Moore (4:08-4:30) as he streaked across the face of Murray after the snap. A touchdown by Moore looked imminent. That is until preseason favorite, Xavier Woods, heatseeked his shoulder into the ball Moore was carrying. That ball popped up and into the arms of Nick Vigil just before he went out of bounds. Vikings ball, doomsday for the Cardinals. 

Upon review, the call is reversed. Defenders are under the same obligation as receivers to get both feet inbounds, even on fumble recoveries. No toe-drag swag present, Arizona ball. Next play, Murray scrambles for a touchdown along with a Baby Yoda celly. Don’t look now, but that’s our old friend dread creeping over our shoulder. 

Is That All You Got?

Was this one series the deciding factor in the game — No? No!

Many other things factored into the two losses. Joseph nailing the hard ones, yet missing the “easy” ones, well, hurt. The notorious cornerback whisper and defensive czar, Mike Zimmer, is allowing an uncharacteristic start to the season with 588 passing yards on 8.15 yards per catch and five passing touchdowns surrendered over the two games. Sprinkle Joe Mixon in rushing for over 100 yards in Week 1. That’s uncharacteristic as well. The penalties that haunted the Vikings in Week 1 were cleaned up for Week 2, but clock management and playcalling at the end of each half left much to be desired. 

The Vikings will get back on track. Taking care of business at home remains key to the rest of the season. It is time for the law of averages to work in the Vikings favor and for the ball to finally bounce their way.

That law has been violated too many times since 1961.