Awkward. Kellen Mond called Minnesota ‘a[n] awful State’ in 2016.
Far be it for me to point out old social media posts, especially those done by teenagers, as some sort of negative reflection of who that person was or is now. If Twitter existed when I was in high school I’d be one forever living down Tweets like ‘LOVING this new Limp Bizkit CD! #IAlsoDiditPartiallyforWhateverthsNookieIs #OhWaitFoundOutWhatNookieMeans’ and ‘Id rather die than have Favre in Purple’ or ‘I bet Favre doesnt even listen to Limp Bizkit!’
So, I should start this early morning piece by mentioning that I’m not actually offended by this news (nor should any other Minnesotan be). I fully realize that to people not born here, Minnesota seems lame, invisible and nigh unlivable courtesy of our winters.
Like the opposite of a frog in a pot slowly brought to boil, unless you’re raised in our (once) brutal winters your body can’t handle the reality that we choose to live where you can literally die if you go outside for more than 15 minutes at a time.
What am I going on about?
New Vikings quarterback and Texas A&M product Kellen Mond Tweeted this back in 2016.
Kellen Mond is going to just love the Vikings pic.twitter.com/CoFpLVuZ2J
— Old Social Posts (@OldSocialPosts) May 2, 2021
Now, to be fair?
Outside of the Fargo TV series, and a bunch of objectively perfect movies from the early ‘90’s like ‘Jingle All the Way’, ‘The Mighty Ducks’ and ‘Untamed Heart’ (which I think should form here on out be called ‘Baboon Heart’)? Minnesota and Minneapolis and especially the amazing city of Minneapolis are mostly invisible save for our sports teams (that are mostly located in and paid for by Minneapolis/Hennepin County but are all named after the state). Most people think we’re some weird offshoot of Canada that time, and fashion, forgot. However, we rank at or near the top of every positive metric as a state and city despite most people, including our former President, pronouncing ‘Minneapolis’ like ‘Indianapolis’ (as in ‘Minnenapolis’).
We’re a top-15 media market, we have an amazing standard of living. Our park system is and has been a model for the country and world, and we have every amenity, pro sports franchise, and in the summer thing to do possible.
Awhile back National Geographic picked Minneapolis as a top 10 summer vacation spot in the WORLD courtesy of our long winters and the fact that we pack in more festivals and things to do during the summer than anywhere to compensate for those long stretches of Vitamin D deficiency and thus scurvy.
If anything, what we’ve failed to do is educate people from elsewhere just how great our city and state are. For players like Kirk Cousins or anyone not a free agent in the NBA, our standard of living, schools, and amenities are huge draws for their families/children. But perhaps there’s a method to our understated madness.
We want to keep our utopia a secret as to not let it get overrun by… ironically, Texans. Texas is the anti-Minnesota. Anyone who has spent any time online knows that Texas is the state that has by far the most usernames possible. Wait about a day and scroll down to the comments on this article and you’ll undoubtedly see attempts at wit by names like ‘DontMessWithTexas’ and ‘RememberTheAlamo’ and ‘DidYouJustStopRememberingtheAlamo?’ Or ‘JustRemindingYouoftheAlamo’.
They self promote a lot, is my point, and I’d argue that (at least when compared to Minnesota) they don’t have a lot to hang their ten gallon hats on. But back to their self promotion.
After all, they did name their Houston NFL team ‘The Texans’. Which up until the ‘Washington Football Team’ and New Orleans ‘Cheaters’ was the most painfully on the nose team name possible.
So, let’s forgive Mond for his teenage ignorance of how great our state is. Scratch that, we don’t even need to forgive him. He is simply reacting to a reality that is by design. The reality that we humble Minnesotans don’t brag about our awesome State because like Limp Bizkit in their Prime (which continues unabated), our awesomeness speaks for itself.
Now that that’s settled we can all get back to remembering the Alamo.