skoLOL: The WIDE world of Field Goals
Welcome to skoLOL a weekly series from Minnesota stand-up comedian and writer, Bryan Miller!
Bryan Miller is a writer and standup comedian who has appeared on the CBS Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and is a regular at Acme Comedy Co. His standup album 2020 is available now. Find him at @realbryanmiller on Twitter.
You can hear him regularly on WCCO Radio. Here’s a recent appearance where discusses recording his album at Acme!
Without further ado, let’s get into the first skoLOL Top (or bottom?) Ten!
Image courtesy of Vikings.com
10. After Vikings’ kicker Dan Bailey’s misses the last two weeks, the Vikings are going to rename the extra point the “Hail Mary”.
Image courtesy of chicagobears.com
9. One of Bailey’s kicks missed so wide it actually scored three points for the Bears.
8. If there was another set of goalposts directly next to the actual goalposts, Bailey’s kicks would have missed that very goalpost.
Wisconsin is Vikings Territory
7. Bailey’s kick was so wide it’s considered attractive in Wisconsin.
6. The kick was wide! Although it would be considered pretty close in the electoral college football.
5. The whole game was so painful, all over Minnesota elves threw themselves off shelves.
Image courtesy of Vikings.com
4. Meanwhile, the Vikings are waiting to find out from Governor Tim Walz when the defense can re-open.
Image courtesy of Vikings.com
3. Kendricks is out. Hunter is out. Barr is out; the Vikings have lost more defenders than Woody Allen.
Image courtesy of Vikings.com
2. Bailey will probably be asked to leave, yet chances are he won’t be able to navigate himself between the door frames.
Image courtesy of Vikings.com
1. Head coach Mike Zimmer said of Bailey’s job status, “At this point in time we’re not worried about feelings anymore.” Coach, Vikings fans haven’t been able to feel anything since January 10, 2016.
Follow Bryan on Twitter (@RealBryanMiller) and check-in each Monday for a new skoLOL!
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