Sansevere: Nicknaming the 2020 Minnesota Vikings Defense
Bob Sansevere
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(You can read it while at a stoplight, during a commercial break or when dropping a deuce.)
Memorable defenses get memorable nicknames.
The Purple People Eaters.
The Steel Curtain.
The Fearsome Foursome.
The Doomsday Defense.
All great defenses. All defenses worthy of a nickname.
The current Vikings defense is the antithesis of great. But it is a memorable defense. Vikings coach Mike Zimmer is unlikely to forget it.
After Friday’s 52-33 scalding by the New Orleans Saints, Zimm said, “Yeah, this is a bad defense. Worst one I’ve ever had.”
This defense is so memorable, so memorably putrid, it screams to have a nickname.
So I put it out on social media and asked for nickname suggestions. As you might imagine, Purple showed up in lots of them …
The Purple Party Poopers.
The Porous Purple People Watchers.
The Purple Putzes.
The Purple Sieve.
The Purple Virus.
The Purple Pukes.
The Purple Powder Puffs.
The Purple Poop Stain.
The Purple Turnstiles.
Purple Shame.
Purple Drain.
The Purple Leg Pee-ers.
The Purple People Greeters.
Purple Pansies.
Purple Poopy Pants.
The Purple People Eatens.
There were numerous other nickname suggestions that didn’t include “Purple” in them. Here’s a few …
The Yike-lings.
Stinky Butts.
The Burn Unit.
Zimmer’s Zeroes.
The Suckwads.
Minnesota Mishaps.
Insanity Defense.
The 11 Who Couldn’t.
Pandemic Poltroons.
The Vikes’ Yikes Squad.
The Turdtastics.
Norse Nitwits.
Zim’s Folly.
Minnesota Mistackles.
We have plenty of nicknames here to consider. Many of them can work. So, mission accomplished. Something you can’t say about the Vikings’ defense.
Bob Sansevere does “The BS Show” daily podcast that also is broadcast on KDAL in Duluth, WNMT in Hibbing and WBHR in St. Cloud.