In the spirit of the holiday, we decided to have a little more fun with this week’s question. We’d love to hear your ideas in the comments section as well. All of us at Vikings Territory are wishing you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving!
Name one Viking (past or present) most likely to ruin your Thanksgiving dinner.
Austin: “The Williams Wall”
Together, Pat and Kevin created havoc for the Vikings defense, with their best seasons together coming between 2006-2008. Their large presence inside helped the Vikings field the league’s best run defense for three years straight, and I’m sure they’d put a stop to leftovers at Thanksgiving as well. While both always seemed like great teammates, I think they’d make terrible dinner-mates, if only because there would be little in the way of leftovers. One of my favorite parts of Thanksgiving is the leftovers, and Pat and Kevin would easily put a stop to that by eating most of the food on Thanksgiving night. No turkey soup and no turkey sandwiches the day after would ruin Thanksgiving for me.
Andy: Fred Smoot
I don’t like burned food, and you can’t say the name “Fred Smoot” without associating “being burnt.” Also, he’d talk way too much at the table, probably be a sore loser at dominoes, make Aunt Gert look like Antonio Brown in the post-dinner football game (then she be talking all year like she all that), and there’s zero chance I’m letting him plan the after-dinner activities… Because we all know what happens when Fred Smoot is allowed to be a party planner. Plus we’d argue about who was gonna win the Egg Bowl and I’d have to go all Hotty Toddy on his Mississippi State cowbell ringing self. Thanksgiving supposed to be about being thankful. And I’m thankful Fred Smoot ain’t at my table.
Adam: Chris Kluwe
I think inviting former Vikings punter Chris Kluwe to a Thanksgiving dinner would start out well enough. I mean, looking at his Twitter feed suggests he’s one heck of a cook, so you know he’d contribute some tasty delight. After that, however, I have a feeling that things might spiral downhill. Thanksgiving dinner usually involves a mix of generations and anyone paying attention in recent years knows that younever want to bring up politics at a family get together. Anyone paying attention to Kluwe over the years, however, knows that he wouldn’t be able to help himself. There would also be a certain fight for “dibs” on the television, where most would want to watch Thanksgiving football, but Kluwe would try to commandeer it to show everyone his mad video game skills. Being somewhat reasonable, Kluwe shows his belly and all the men settle in to watch the big game… only to have annoyingly constant analysis of how the holder performed on every place kick.
Carl: Les Steckel
Les Steckel was Bud Grant’s successor in 1984. With a military background and emphasis on discipline, the 38-year-old rookie head coach had a short-lived and rocky 3-13 record in his only season as the Vikings head coach. His gung-ho approach and no-nonsense attitude alienated him from key players and team leaders. With complaints that he didn’t listen to his players, he lost the locker room and the final six games of the season by a average of 27 points per game.
Now, I realize Steckel is nowhere near as nasty as Gordon Ramsay of Hell’s Kitchen, but who wants to take a chance that the cook will walk out before the turkey and trimmings reach the table. Yeah, and after stuffing myself with pumpkin pie, doing pushups for every derogatory comment about the 1984 team is certainly not on my wish list. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lindsey: Matt Birk
Matt Birk had an impressive run with the Vikings as their center; during his 1998-2008 career, Birk made six trips to the Pro Bowl and received All-Pro honors in both 2000 and 2003. The Minnesota native has quite the impressive resume both on and off the field, having graduated from Harvard University. However, I’m a pretty competitive person, and I imagine he is, too. I think we might clash a bit over a Thanksgiving meal, especially since Birk’s high school (Cretin-Durham Hall) rivaled my friend’s team growing up. And if we played after-dinner board games like my family often does, my pride would be damaged by a loss to Birk in Scrabble…