Thursday, May 28, 2015
Tags Posts tagged with "christian ponder"

christian ponder

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[NOTE FROM ADAM:  After thoroughly enjoying the first installment of “Garbage Time” two of our favorite readers/writers are now back for some more.  Enjoy!]

B. GRANT

Well, Tomb, the Vikes won a big home game this week over the Bears and are still in the playoff hunt.  Granted ( :-) ), it was accomplished with, for all intents and purposes, two defensive scores, and another Adrian Peterson symphony.  But a win, nonetheless.  So, what about their playoff chances?  It might be asking a lot for them to go 3-0 to finish the season, but if they could win 2 and finish 9-7, could they be in?  Regardless of the answer, I think Leslie Frazier has done a pretty darn good job this year.  How many of us would have given this team a chance to have a bona fide shot at the playoffs with 3 weeks to go?  Surely you have some sort of warped perspective on this whole situation, don’t you?

TOMB

Easy there, Pollyanna. By all means, savor the flavor of a victory, but playoffs? I haven’t seen this kind of denial since Aaron Rodgers proposed to a woman. Let me be clear: I am a stalwart Vikings fan who vastly enjoyed this particular win, but we will not–I repeat–NOT make the playoffs this season. It’s interesting that after gushing about bona fide playoff potential for this team, you ask ME for a ‘warped perspective.’ Sure, it’s ‘mathematically possible’ for the Vikes to make the playoffs, but it’s also ‘mathematically possible’ Tomb ends up on the business end of a Mrs. Tomb/Salma Hayek group tryst. Sure, I may occasionally dwell on the possibilities fondly, but I’m not holding my breath on either delightful event occurring.

This entire Vikings Territory site, authors and commenters alike, have covered the Big Reach Ponder situation ad nauseum, but with him at the helm, we seriously have no prayer. He almost makes Tebow seem like a legitimate QB threat. IMPROMPTU FUN FACT ALERT: on the same weekend, Cam Newton threw for 287 yards, and ran for 116 that Ponder threw for 91 yards, and ran for zero (on 4 attempts). That’s right, QB Cam Newton RAN for more yards than QB(?) Big Reach threw. When I first heard that stat, I blinked way too rapidly, then slunk quietly out of the room. With this rascal piloting our offense, we’ll never be more than an Adrian Peterson sideshow. Such a shame.  AD is not human. What he’s doing is just not human. Absolute beast. I am in awe.

This credit you’re giving Leslie Frazier is a little baffling. I don’t necessarily see what he’s bringing to the table. He plays everything so close to the vest, I’m finding it impossible to figure out what role he has in any success or failure on any given day and/or play. He reminds me of a skinny Art Shell, standing on the sidelines worrying that either smile or frown may crack his face. He portrays as much genuine emotion on the sidelines as Keanu Reeves in, well, pretty much any movie he’s ever been in. Zilch.

An earlier comment of yours caught my eye and furrowed my brow. “Leslie says ‘we won the way we were designed to win.’ What in the name of Shanahan’s freaky bug eyes does that even mean? More to the point, does that imply the inverse ‘we lost the way were designed to lose’ also holds true? Seems about as goofy as your one man wrong-a-thon that’s supposed to serve as an opening statement.

Mmmm…Salma.

Consider this statistical analysis for a second.  Christian Ponder completed 11 passes to Vikings receivers during Sunday’s win.

These 11 passes were good for 91 yards and no touchdowns.  Jay Cutler, on the other hand, completed two passes to Vikings cornerbacks and those interceptions were good for 100 yards and a touchdown.

So, to be clear, Jay Cutler was a better Vikings quarterback on Sunday than Christian Ponder was.

Leslie Frazier and his staff decided to go “all in” utilizing a formula many of were calling for weeks ago, and it led to a fairly impressive victory over a divisional foe.  The Vikings fully embraced the idea of having to run the football (accompanied by solid defense) to win football games, and even if it seems they figured it out a little too late, they are still in the playoff hunt because of it.

Against the Bears on Sunday Adrian Peterson had a career high of 31 carries while Christian Ponder tied his season low of 17 passing attempts.  If you throw in some Toby Gerhart and bootlegs, the Vikings ran the ball 21 more times than they threw it.

The Vikings have once again proved that they can win with Christian Ponder at quarterback, but once again it is obvious that they can really only do it if Peterson continues to play out of his mind and the defense continues to come up with big plays.

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[Editor’s Note:  They say laughter is the best medicine.  That is why I didn’t flinch at the idea of faithful reader “Tomb” contributing some weekend laughs from time to time here on the pages of Vikings Territory.  This recurring (if you like it) segment will bring you satirical headlines from around the NFL and run under the title “the Tombion” which is an obvious rip off of…”

Brow vs. Brow: Bert Files Suit Against Flacco

BALTIMORE–Appearing before a small but energetic throng of reporters at an impromptu press conference to defend recent litigation filed by his attorneys against Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco, Bert, of Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie, was at times calm and rational, at times highly combative, sometimes even waxing oddly nostalgic, but always relaying an unflinching confidence in his decision. Bert’s petition insists that Joe Flacco knowingly and willingly infringed on Bert’s trademark unibrow to further his personal career ambitions.

“This is a clear trademark violation,” Bert insisted. “Do you have any idea how many years I’ve been rockin’ this eyebar? I’ve spent most of my life, maybe most of my soul to make this thing part of the American fabric. I’ve put in the time. I didn’t do it to have some poseur accelerate his own position by ripping me off. I mean, come on! The Ravens have a defense and Ray Rice. That’s it. Flacco shamelessly rides their talents and pretends he’s actually a quarterback to be taken seriously? Like the team would fall apart without his constant lack of clutch playmaking? If he’s an elite quarterback, then Vanilla Ice is a musical genius. Think about it, 4th & 29, just under 2 minutes to go, and what does Flacco do? A dump pass to your running back? Seriously? Real ‘Brady-like’ performance there, Joe. Rice puts the team on his back; against all odds he converts the 4th, and Flacco has the audacity to celebrate like he had anything to do with it? This turd needs to be flushed, and I’m just the man to do the flushing. You can quote me on that!”

Meanwhile, from team headquarters, Joe Flacco issued a more solemn, but nonetheless shocking prepared address.

“Bert’s accusations are frivolous. I’m confident that true justice will ultimately prevail, and the American judicial system will agree with me that these are baseless accusations. It makes no sense. The facts are clear, I stand before you as the starting quarterback for an NFL team, I make millions of dollars doing so, and I’ve never even been to second base with anyone. My marriage? A sham. She won’t let me touch her. Our child? Not mine. I have no idea whose kid that is. I have zero doubt this caterpillar on my forehead has contributed to my frustrations and ultimate personal failings. Why would I willingly do that to myself? Again, it makes no sense, much like his case.”

Bert’s domestic partner, Ernie, declined comment.

A season that is all but suffocated.  A star receiver on the mend.  A quarterback under immense pressure to perform.  A group of coaches whose seats have to feel a bit toasty.  A linebacker calling for more drunks to attend games.  A divisional home game fast approaching.

The drama has reached heights we have yet to see in 2012, which means there are plenty of great articles floating around the internet, and I am here to bring them all your way:

Prior to this week’s loss in Green Bay, the main topic of conversation for the Minnesota Vikings fan base revolved around second year quarterback Christian Ponder.  His 119 yard performance, with two game changing interceptions, will do little to quiet the doubters moving forward.

Despite having the league’s top running back in Adrian Peterson Ponder and his offense have sunk to the bottom of the NFL in terms of passing yardage.

Many Vikings fans have taken to the internet and radio call-in shows to express their displeasure with Ponder and it sounds as if they have seen enough of the Florida State product and are eager to see him spend some time on the bench.

The one guy has perhaps seen more of Ponder than anybody, however, feels that he has not seen enough to give up on his former first round pick.  Ever since the final whistle blew on Sunday, Leslie Frazier has done nothing but reiterate that he plans to continue playing Ponder and has barely even acknowledged the possibility of benching him.

So, where are you at as a fan today?  Have you seen enough of Christian Ponder to give up hope?  This poll represents what is ultimately the most important question that the Vikings, as an organization, have to be asking themselves over the next six months or so.

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