Monthly archive: December, 2012

the Tombion: All the satire, none of the originality.

December 7, 2012, by 5 comments

[Editor's Note:  They say laughter is the best medicine.  That is why I didn't flinch at the idea of faithful reader "Tomb" contributing some weekend laughs from time to time here on the pages of Vikings Territory.  This recurring (if you like it) segment will bring you satirical headlines from around the NFL and run under the title “the Tombion” which is an obvious rip off of…”

Brow vs. Brow: Bert Files Suit Against Flacco

BALTIMORE–Appearing before a small but energetic throng of reporters at an impromptu press conference to defend recent litigation filed by his attorneys against Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco, Bert, of Sesame Street’s Bert and Ernie, was at times calm and rational, at times highly combative, sometimes even waxing oddly nostalgic, but always relaying an unflinching confidence in his decision. Bert’s petition insists that Joe Flacco knowingly and willingly infringed on Bert’s trademark unibrow to further his personal career ambitions.

“This is a clear trademark violation,” Bert insisted. “Do you have any idea how many years I’ve been rockin’ this eyebar? I’ve spent most of my life, maybe most of my soul to make this thing part of the American fabric. I’ve put in the time. I didn’t do it to have some poseur accelerate his own position by ripping me off. I mean, come on! The Ravens have a defense and Ray Rice. That’s it. Flacco shamelessly rides their talents and pretends he’s actually a quarterback to be taken seriously? Like the team would fall apart without his constant lack of clutch playmaking? If he’s an elite quarterback, then Vanilla Ice is a musical genius. Think about it, 4th & 29, just under 2 minutes to go, and what does Flacco do? A dump pass to your running back? Seriously? Real ‘Brady-like’ performance there, Joe. Rice puts the team on his back; against all odds he converts the 4th, and Flacco has the audacity to celebrate like he had anything to do with it? This turd needs to be flushed, and I’m just the man to do the flushing. You can quote me on that!”

Meanwhile, from team headquarters, Joe Flacco issued a more solemn, but nonetheless shocking prepared address.

“Bert’s accusations are frivolous. I’m confident that true justice will ultimately prevail, and the American judicial system will agree with me that these are baseless accusations. It makes no sense. The facts are clear, I stand before you as the starting quarterback for an NFL team, I make millions of dollars doing so, and I’ve never even been to second base with anyone. My marriage? A sham. She won’t let me touch her. Our child? Not mine. I have no idea whose kid that is. I have zero doubt this caterpillar on my forehead has contributed to my frustrations and ultimate personal failings. Why would I willingly do that to myself? Again, it makes no sense, much like his case.”

Bert’s domestic partner, Ernie, declined comment.

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Chris Cook’s Pending Return May Be Too Little, Too Late

December 6, 2012, by 3 comments

A day after receiving news that Percy Harvin would not be suiting up for the Vikings again in 2012, the team got back a familiar face during Thursday’s practice.

Over a month ago, cornerback Chris Cook’s best season to date was interrupted by a broken arm.  The Vikings placed him on injured reserve (with a designation to return) and the top receivers of their opponents have torn up this Vikings defense ever since.

Cook returned to practice on Thursday, the first day that he was eligible to do so, and all indications are that he will be ready to go for the week 16 matchup against Houston.

Of course, the Vikings have to knock of the Bears and the Rams between now and then for his return to have any real significant meaning.

With Harvin’s Season Done, Vikings Pressure Mounts

December 5, 2012, by 12 comments

When Percy Harvin suffered an ankle injury on November fourth it was the third quarter of a game taking place in Seattle.

Despite the ugly nature of the hit to his ankle, and the obvious pain he was in, the Vikings coaching staff allowed Harvin to re-enter the game and play on.  That decision can possibly be added to the list of questionable ones being compiled by those that would like to see Leslie Frazier and his staff gone for good.

Harvin reportedly suffered a grade three sprain, which means a ligament actually tore, and the team held his roster spot for him hoping he would recover in the four to six week timeframe expected of these injuries.  Each week, however, Frazier strung along the media (and fans) making it seem like Harvin could actually suit up the following game.

As recently as yesterday, Frazier expressed some optimism that Harvin would be able to do some things in practice that would indicate that he might be available to face the Bears on Sunday.

Instead, news broke late in the day on Wednesday that Harvin would be placed on Injured Reserve, prematurely ending his 2012 campaign that had him in the MVP conversation early on.

The news is grim for everyone that enjoys seeing Harvin play, but it perhaps hits quarterback Christian Ponder and his 32nd ranked passing offense the hardest.

As a receiver, Harvin caught 66 passes for 677 yards through nine games, which both still lead the Vikings.  In fact, through 12 games all of the Vikings wide receivers combined have accounted for only 68 catches and 809 yards.  His three touchdowns as a receiver match that of all the others combined, as well.

Plus, those stats don’t even begin to measure the full impact could have on a game as a running back and as a return man.  His ability to pick up yards, scare opposing coaches, and set the Vikings up with excellent field position has been sorely missed in his absence and that will surely continue.

Another thing that bothers me (and quite possibly only me) is that Harvin’s ankle injury occurred on a run play.  Now, I don’t mind mixing it up and getting creative with how you use a talent like Harvin, but I have been harping on something all year long and this now gives me the chance to use hindsight to hammer a point home.

Why sacrifice a third round draft pick to trade up a handful of spots in the second round of the Draft to “steal” a running back like Toby Gerhart if you aren’t going to use the guy?

Through 12 games the Stanford product has only touched the ball 33 times.  After a rough game against San Francisco in week three, Gerhart has seen his role diminish to almost nothing, averaging less than one carry per game over the last seven weeks.

For as creative as the Vikings are in their use of Harvin, and as forgiving of disastrous performances as they are with Ponder, you would think they could find a better way to utilize the backup running back for which they invested so much to acquire.  It isn’t like they didn’t know how dangerously thin they were at wide receiver and that Harvin’s industrial-sized work made him an even bigger injury risk than he normally is.

After an amazing half of a season, however, one of our last images of Harvin’s 2012 season will be him yelling at Frazier on the sideline out of frustration for a series of red zone calls that resulted in a Blair Walsh field goal.

That spat on the sideline sets up perfectly what will surely be a drama-filled offseason for Harvin and the Vikings, previewed last offseason over a brief period of time, as Harvin and the Vikings could very well end up in a stalemate over his contract status.

2013 is set to be the final year of his contract and he is expected to make only about $1.55 million.  Harvin has been rumored to consider 2012 a “contract year,” however, and it is obvious that things could get very ugly very fast if a contract extension cannot be worked out.

And it may not be easy.

Harvin, like many fans, probably views himself as one of the top offensive threats in the NFL.  His agent Joel Segal probably does little to temper Harvin’s expectations of big money, as he is known for getting incredibly robust contracts in place for lesser talents than Harvin, and I would not be shocked to see him demanding top dollar at the negotiating table.

Meanwhile, the Vikings have on their hands a temperamental player that came out of college proceeded by stories of his entitled attitude, and that even once hurled a weight at head coach Brad Childress in the training facility.  Oh, and while he had only ever missed three games prior to this injury, he also seems to be a weekly mainstay on the injury report.

Going to the internet and browsing Harvin’s highlight reels will make you think paying the man is a no-brainer, but I just have a hunch the decision will not be such an easy one inside Winter Park this offseason.

Get ready for a Harvin-filled offseason, folks.

Links Of The Week: Hanging By A Thread

December 4, 2012, by 3 comments

A season that is all but suffocated.  A star receiver on the mend.  A quarterback under immense pressure to perform.  A group of coaches whose seats have to feel a bit toasty.  A linebacker calling for more drunks to attend games.  A divisional home game fast approaching.

The drama has reached heights we have yet to see in 2012, which means there are plenty of great articles floating around the internet, and I am here to bring them all your way:

Question Of The Week: Have You Given Up?

December 3, 2012, by 23 comments

Prior to this week’s loss in Green Bay, the main topic of conversation for the Minnesota Vikings fan base revolved around second year quarterback Christian Ponder.  His 119 yard performance, with two game changing interceptions, will do little to quiet the doubters moving forward.

Despite having the league’s top running back in Adrian Peterson Ponder and his offense have sunk to the bottom of the NFL in terms of passing yardage.

Many Vikings fans have taken to the internet and radio call-in shows to express their displeasure with Ponder and it sounds as if they have seen enough of the Florida State product and are eager to see him spend some time on the bench.

The one guy has perhaps seen more of Ponder than anybody, however, feels that he has not seen enough to give up on his former first round pick.  Ever since the final whistle blew on Sunday, Leslie Frazier has done nothing but reiterate that he plans to continue playing Ponder and has barely even acknowledged the possibility of benching him.

So, where are you at as a fan today?  Have you seen enough of Christian Ponder to give up hope?  This poll represents what is ultimately the most important question that the Vikings, as an organization, have to be asking themselves over the next six months or so.

Lessons Learned: Patience Isn’t Always A Virtue

December 2, 2012, by 21 comments

The company line at Winter Park this week is going to be that the Vikings still control their own destiny, and that Christian Ponder will be the quarterback to lead this team to the playoffs.

While this is mathematically a possibility, the truth is that the Vikings playoff hopes died on Lambeau Field Sunday when Ponder nearly failed to throw for over 100 yards and had a pair of untimely interceptions that quite literally robbed his own team of hard earned points.

Sure, there are plenty of other things to point to that went wrong on Sunday.  The referees (and I hardly ever resort to this) made a number of calls that left many wondering if Ed Hochuli plans to retire in Green Bay.  Blair Walsh’s missed field goal in the fourth quarter was the nail in the coffin.  Receivers continued to struggle to get open.  Bill Musgrave once again failed to get Adrian Peterson a handoff, not even once, in the fourth quarter.

All of these things can be viewed as unacceptable, but none were more glaring than the horrendous display put on by Ponder against the team fans want to beat the most.

I can’t fault the Vikings staff for starting Ponder today, and I can’t fault them for starting him next week against Chicago, but their decision to keep Joe Webb on the bench following Ponder’s second interception has left me dumbfounded.

You want to be patient with young quarterbacks.  You want them to learn from mistakes and learn how to rebound after committing them.  You want to get a full season’s worth of game tape for evaluation purposes during the offseason.  More than anything, you want to prove everyone else wrong and let him lead you to victory.

Still, with all of those things in mind, what was expected to be gained by keeping Ponder in the game?

Joe Webb has proven to be one the NFL’s best change-up pitchers in the NFL and Ponder gave absolutely no indication that he could win this game, even with Peterson’s ridiculous numbers.  Webb, while not viewed as a viable long term option, should have been allowed to try and redeem the game and put the Vikings (and Christian Ponder) in a position to see postseason action.

Instead, the Vikings chose to place the “development” of their first round quarterback ahead of the team goal of winning a championship, and kept Ponder on the field only long enough to gain a few more yards against a prevent defense.

Whether the call was up to Leslie Frazier, Bill Musgrave, Rick Spielman, or even Zygi Wilf himself, 52 other players and an entire fan base had to suffer Sunday due to the irrational stubbornness displayed by the Minnesota Vikings.

Invading Lambeau: Live Chat

December 2, 2012, by 6 comments